thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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