She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
