I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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