Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
