If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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