What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
