also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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