This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
