guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize