i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
