I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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