Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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