you have to choose: penises or morals?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
