I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
