This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
