It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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