we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
