Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
