i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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