I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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