Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
