when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
