Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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