maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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