areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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