i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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