Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How does it feel to date your dad?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
