Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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