my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
