Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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