Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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