To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
