I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I'm really busy with my period
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