nutella sex= disaster
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
