Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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