areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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