I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
