Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
