I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
