Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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