oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize