There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
