You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize