My friends, they love my intelligence
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
