she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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