Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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