This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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