dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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