Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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