id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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