i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
