Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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