This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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