Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
