I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
