i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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