I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
