plz talk dirty to me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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