why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
